When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
