I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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