I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
