this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
