Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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