when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize