I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I love having hate sex.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
