I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
