marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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