is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
