I think I died a long time ago.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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