Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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