just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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