all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
