Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
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Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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