Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
