ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
