that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
