hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
