Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
