you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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