bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
