I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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