She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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