What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
