i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
