the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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