the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
