it hurts more in the daytime
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
