I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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