Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
