My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
