And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
