so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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