...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
