just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
