So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
