And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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