a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
