just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
