i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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