Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
