So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
