i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
