Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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