it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize