i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize