that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
