Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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