Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Houston, we have a squirter
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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