Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
