I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
