somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
