dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
