Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
