I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
