why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
