Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
