Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
