My hand turned me down
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.