the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.