Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?

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(616): dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us? http://tfl.nu/bgpp

Replies (8) Good night (1208) Bad night (411)
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(212): View more from New York

her vagina looked like bernie madoff

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(212): her vagina looked like bernie madoff http://tfl.nu/jcdd

Replies (23) Good night (492) Bad night (3824) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.

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(214): Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me. http://tfl.nu/94g1

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(650): View more from California

some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!

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(650): some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel! http://tfl.nu/ztnc

Replies (49) Good night (1194) Bad night (4697) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?

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(708): Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight? http://tfl.nu/wnvq

Replies (38) Good night (17135) Bad night (1906) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.

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(902): Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/c874

Replies (12) Good night (6842) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun

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(860): So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun http://tfl.nu/05t6

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(904): View more from Florida

I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.

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(904): I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/bxd6

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(678): View more from Georgia

Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.

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(678): Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody. http://tfl.nu/1fu4

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(204): View more from Manitoba

You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.

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(204): You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times. http://tfl.nu/dj81

Replies (3) Good night (2010) Bad night (471)
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(61): View more from Australia

I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could

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(61): I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could http://tfl.nu/jvk9

Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (2380)
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(586): View more from Michigan

If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption

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(586): If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption http://tfl.nu/zznp

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(248): View more from Michigan

Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.

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(248): Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/v2ig

Replies (16) Good night (1031) Bad night (394)
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(914): View more from New York

I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

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(914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.

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(208): Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one. http://tfl.nu/4da2

Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (220)

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