Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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