he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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