he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
