so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
