I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
